Anyway, long story short, Sondra came back with me to live in San Antonio. I got a place, and it was walking distance from my job so I was able to come back and help.
One day, in the midst of my cleaning gig, I got a weird feeling. I called my boss and he is a decent guy. He said he’d fill in for me.
When I got home, Sondra was sitting on the floor and crying. First thing I did was check on the baby and luckily she was fine, just sleeping in her crib.
“What’s wrong, sistuh?” I brought her a box of tissues.
“I’m not sure,” she said. “I’m so sad.”
I didn’t know at the time that postpartum depression is a thing. But now I do.
She admitted a lot to me over hot cocoa with little marshmallows (thats what happens when siblings live together for the first time since childhood- they re-buy all the special snacks they used to have over Saturday morning cartoons). It turns out she’s been crying almost every day. She would wait til Jaime was taking a nap, or at least tried to. Then she would wonder why she felt that way, when she had a beautiful, healthy daughter. And an awesome brother (hint hint that’s me) helping.
I tried to lay it out for her why its normal:
- You just had a baby! THat’s a major life change.
- You are planning on giving your baby to me to take care of while you study.
- You’re living to a new city. That means not a huge group of friends yet.
So we made up a plan. First, she would not go back to school in the fall. She would stay in San Antonio with me for a few more months. I offered to move back with her to New Orleans, but she said it didn’t make sense since neither one of us wanted to live there in the long run, and it would be easier to raise a kid here. I think a lot of the fear was that she wouldn’t be able to breastfeed for a whole year.
Also we signed her up, right there on the spot, for some Mommy and Me music classes. And she promised me she would tell me about how she is feeling.